like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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