Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
