btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Randomize
