WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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