I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
