Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Randomize
