Dude my mom stole all your condoms
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
love makes seman taste better
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
