when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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