STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
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