There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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