I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
please come you make the beer taste better
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Houston, we have a blender
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
