just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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