i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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