Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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