I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
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