My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
