i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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