yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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