So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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