I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize