..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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