i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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