No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
