i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
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