Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
