Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
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Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
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I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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