i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
