i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
