how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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