nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Randomize
