omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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