I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
