READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
