I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
