His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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