I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize