I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
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security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
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Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
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