We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
