I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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