I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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