Just took my morning after pill in the library
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Randomize
