DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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