Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
