mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
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