worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
