It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
