I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
