I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
