Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize
