Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
