How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
