I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
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