Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
