So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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