Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
