What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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