Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
