Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
