Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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