could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
