Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
